It's been years
by beautifulriver1098
Summary: Today, on November 5, 2004. I died in the arms of the one I loved. In the end we didn't beat Kira. In the end we failed. In the end we never got to live. In the end I never got my happily ever after... L/OC oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own death not or the music lyrics

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We've been together, for a long time now. Just the two of us. We were polar opposites while we were at Wammy's, and to this day we still are. He's quiet, reserved, analytical, and dark. While I'm abrasive, loud, obnoxious, and bright.

His eyes were a dark almost black brown. His hair was unkempt and pitch black. My eyes are a clear crystal blue, my hair, a beautiful unusual white.

We were opposites, yet we somehow clicked and worked well together. I still remember the day he was going to leave to Wammy's. The day he was going to leave me alone. No that's a lie, I wouldn't have been alone, I had Nate and Crystal. But my life would never be the same with out him.

It was a normal gloomy day in England. At the time I was fifteen, Nate and Crystal were both five. I had been playing with my small siblings, hoping to get closer to them. Ever since the death of our parents, we had grown apart. And I couldn't stand to let it go on any further.

Nate had been stacking blocks on top of blocks, creating a small structure. I was never able to understand where this creativity came from. Mom and dad had both been normal citizens in India, working to make ends meet. And from what I could remember they weren't artistically inclined... at all.

So where did Nate get his creativeness? Heck even little Crystal excelled in dance. I would never be able to understand.

I sat on the carpeted ground, watching Nate with bored eyes, and barely taking in account the way my sister dreamily colored in a dancer.

I guess I must of been stuck in my musings for a while, because the next this I know Nate was calling me.

"Sister?" Nate's childish voice called. Even as a child he was so reserved, he reminded me so much of him...

My eyes focused on my sibling. "Yes?" My voice on the other hand wasn't anything like Nate's. In the way I always showed my emotions.

"Mr. L has, been calling you for a while."

I felt my head whip around to see the odd teen in question.

My cheeks had flushed in a feeling I couldn't understand or comprehend. I wouldn't be able, until much later in my life, would realize my feelings and even then, it would be to late.

I digress

"I'll be back." I informed my two siblings. I gave each a small peck on their foreheads and watched with an amused smirk at their distress.

I stood up, and relished in the way my white strapless dress flowed about me. My feet took small hesitant steps into the hallway.

I came and stood in front of the slumped over teen. He shuffled his bare feet, like he always does.

"It's been three years, hasn't it Clear?"

"Clear"? Oh yeah he only called me by name when it's just the two of us.

"It has." I mumbled, nostalgia taking over as I recalled our days at the orphanage.

"You've known, for a while now, what I am to do."

Confusion had washed over me at that moment in time. Of course by now you have put two and two together by now. Any normal person would have. L the greatest detective, still living at Wammy's. It seems likes he's hinting at something. Oh! He's leaving!

You're probably thinking "she lives at Wammy's! How does she not know?!" We'll I'll give you a little information about Wammy's. Unlike most theories, about Wammy's. The place isn't selective with who they bring in. They take in every child who is willing to come in. They tell them how they are expected to learn and become the next great L. Of course then, since an L had not been established, it was just "you will become a great detective."

Obviously the children can say no and attend a normal orphanage. I knew what was going to happen when I came. Heck! I was prepared for a hell a lot of cramming. But what I didn't expect, was being dead last. Yes. I was dead last at Wammy's. So of course I didn't notice what L was hinting at. I was ignorant to the world.

"We'll of course! You're going to become a great detective!" I answered proud that I eluded a happy smile from the mysterious man.

"Yes. And to do that... I need to leave."

I remember how my heart had seemed to stop at that moment in time.

"Like leave Wammy's?" Now here I will admit I knew he had to leave Wammy's, but I also knew he had to leave-

"No...England."

Is it safe to say that in a single moment your world will cave in? Yeah? Well mine did. I know dramatic right? No. Absolutely not.

L has and always was my support system. When I left my home to come to an orphanage with my two siblings. Me. A simple twelve year old girl, forced to raise her siblings. I had no one at that time. I was lonely and sad. It also didn't help, that I was also being bullied by my peers.

That's when L came along

I had seen him around Wammy's before. I just never thought he was important enough to put him in my memory. It wasn't until "that day" that I finally put a name to his face.

It had been about three months since I had arrived at Wammy's with Nate and Crystal. Wammy's had been around for a few years already, but they had next to none caretakers. It was a Saturday morning. I was exhausted from little Nate and Crystal. They had been short on caretakers the night prior, so I offered to watch the twins.

I was walking through the deserted halls carrying the two. Nate on my right hip, Crystal on my left. I had just received words, that some of the care takers returned. So I was on my way to to the play room so I could leave the two with the caretakers.

Then all of a sudden I was cornered by a group of boys. I don't remember their names nor their faces. So I'll just label them as numbers.

Boy number one roughly shoved me against the wall and brought his face close to mine.

"It must be boring to watch babies. Want us to keep you entertained?"

The first thought that popped in to my head was 'wow his breath really stinks' not 'Oh shit, I'm about to be raped.' No I only thought about how offending his breath was to my nostrils. How ironic.

"I'm sorry, but I would prefer if you left me alone. I need to take care of my siblings."

I know. I so could of thought of something better to say. But what could I do? I was carrying two babies. Anything I would have said and or done would be diminished by the fact I was carrying two children.

The next think I know, is poor Nate and Crystal crying, while cold hands began prying all over my body.

At that moment I was stunned. I didn't know what to do.

Two goonies were manhandling Nate and Crystal, while another two restrained me, to allow boy number one "free access."

Tears were streaming down my face as I realized the inevitable outcome. And I whispered one word that would bring my savior and best friend.

"Help..."

I was shocked, to say the least, when a scraggly looking teen knocked over my attackers. It hadn't even been a minute before I realized the group of boys laid on the floor groaning in pain. And my two innocent siblings away from harms way.

I had slid down the wall, to fall in to a sitting position, when relief flowed through me. I brought my knees up to my chest, and thanked whatever higher power there was for saving me.

L kneeled in front of me to stare at my pale face with his large dark eyes.

"Sometimes it amazes me, how much idiocy the world carries. My name is L. Yours is Clear? Am I correct?"

That's when I finally put a name to his face.

After that incident I NEVER left L's side. And the same can be said about him. He offered me protection, while in return, I gave him a form of entertainment. I don't know exactly when we became friends, but we eventually did.

So when L told me, he was to leave, I freaked out.

"Wh-what?! You can't go. You can't leave me!" I shouted at him

I wasn't concerned about the fact we were in a public location, and I was causing a potential scene. I only cared about him.

"I need to go. I can't become a great detective if I stay here." He noted

Warm tears flowed from eyes. I didn't know what to do. So I did the most unpredictable thing, well for L that is.

I clung to L's thin waist. I buried my face in his chest, masking my small sobs.

"Take me with you! I'll do anything you ever ask of. Just take me with you! You're my only friend... I need you."

L had stiffened when I had hugged him. He was not used to the show of physical and emotional expressions.

"Nate and Crystal need you." He tried to reason with me, he paid no mind to the aliases they had. He just hoped I would understand.

"Our relationship is already fading... I know I should stay... But I just can't see me with out my best friend."

We had argued back and forth, for a while. L tried to reason with me, but I was to stubborn to listen. Eventually he caved, and said I could come.

When I left, Nate and Crystal showed no emotions. I expected it, but it still hurt to know that I was strangers to my siblings.

Years passed, and we completed thousands of cases. During that time our friendship strengthened, if that was even possible. Together, the two of us, thought we were unstoppable. L would get the leads and do the paper work. While I went out and did the dirty work. With the two of us, there was no case we couldn't solve. Well that was until...

The Kira case,

When L had first gotten news of the mysterious deaths, he thought nothing of it, I on the other hand, was absolutely bothered by it.

Criminals dying from heart attacks everyday? That was no coincidence! It was genocide!

When I had brought my theories up, about how I thought a person was responsible, to L. He ignored me. He thought it was some "useless media stunt". But when I kept pestering him, he finally took on the case.

It started with with Lind L. Taylor, the man who changed L's mind. When he had challenged "Kira" he witnessed himself it was no true coincidence. People were being murdered.

That's when he dived head first in the case. He took in every detail, he could. He told me to "watch" certain people, so I could gain new information for him. He talked to all the leaders of the world. He tried everything, but it wasn't enough.

And we came to realize that we knew we needed man power, so we brought in the Japanese task force.

When they had first meet us, it was truly comical. I'm sure they were expecting a finely dressed middle aged man, when they saw L.

But they were even more surprised when they saw me. As far as they knew, Watari was the only one who knew and worked with L.

I laid lazily on the eccentric couch, with my legs propped up on its back. Music blasted from my laptop, causing me to "sing" along with it. Well if it's possible to sing along with metal.

"Wake up (wake up).Grab a brush and put a little make-up. Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up. Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable!"

"Who is this Ruzaki? I thought we were the only ones coming here?" Matsuda interrupted my singing.

One thing you should know about me is that I love my music. And for someone to interrupt me, while listening to it, was a big no no. I guess you could say that the moment Matsuda opened his mouth, I instantly hated him.

"You were wrong in your assumption." I replied while sitting up. I looked over at my prized laptop and paused the music.

"But that's not fair! Anyone would assume that!" He responded trying to defend himself.

You know that saying "the women is always right"? Yeah, we'll I take that unspoken rule very seriously,

"Assumption in is the lowest form of knowledge, Mr. Touta Matsuda."

He looked at me with wide eyes and mouth agape. Now that I look back on it, I regret not trying to befriend him. He always was a good person who gave off a sweet disposition. If our meeting hadn't of been so hostile, we could've became good friends.

Weeks passed with the investigation. It was all so confusing and weird. And we got deeper in to the dark maze of secrets and lies.

I had been sitting in the day room listening to music when I felt the couch, I was resting on, shift with extra weight

My eyes turned to gaze at the man who sat slumped over with his knees pulled up to his chest. Most people can't tell his emotions. They always pass him off as stoic and unreadable. But I knew better, to me he was an open book. And in that moment the distress was very visible on his face.

"Lawliet?" I called using his last name. It flowed from my lips like small bells as I whispered it.

"Naomi Misora." He mumbled.

The name brought up memories from our time in the U.S, when we were working on the Los angles BB murder case.

During outer time there, I was told to contact the woman. She knew of my connection to L, but didn't let the information intimidate her. And I respected her for that. We eventually became good friends during the case. We kept in touch up until the Kira case started. And we had yet to contact the other.

"Are you bringing her in on the investigation?" I asked. Excitement filling me with the possibility of seeing my good friend.

"I'm sorry Claire... I am so sorry." He whispered in agony.

My eyes had widened at the emotion laced in his normally monotone voice. He looked at me with wide sorrow filled eyes. He rested his legs on the ground. Freeing his arms. Allowing them to take my laptop from me and place it on the coffee table. His somewhat strong arms pulled me into an awkward embrace.

"Hahah Lawliet, what brought up this behavior?" I giggled, not understanding the seriousness.

"Naomi Misora is dead. Along with her Fiancé." My heart stopped. My friend was dead. And I couldn't do anything to protect her.

I didn't cry though. I just buried myself deeper in L's arms, calming myself down.

I was shocked for days. I didn't talk or participate in the investigation. I was stuck in my own world of thoughts.

We had learned that Naomi's fiancé, Ray Pember, was part of the FBI agents, who L asked to personally come to Japan to help with the investigation.

Him and the other Twelve detectives had been killed by Kira. So I came to the conclusion on my friends death.

Naomi was highly intellectual, that rivaled my own brothers(in my opinion). I realized that she had to of discovered something about the case, and Kira killed her.

I started to involve myself more in the investigation. I was determined to find Kira and put him to his death.

More time passed and our number one suspect, Light Yagami, joined the case. I never liked him, and for obvious reasons. He was Kira. Even L admitted to him being Kira. He said otherwise to Light, though. But that was so he could get Light to feel comfortable around us. But I always knew how he truly felt.

Again, time continued to move. We hit a major break through. We linked Misa Amane to the second Kira and put her in confinement. We did so, to hope we could gain a confession. Light also turned himself in saying that "he might be Kira". His father freaked out and he also went in to confinement with Misa and Light.

For a while the killings stopped, and then they started up again. When we had just felt like we won, we come to find out we were not yet done.

L began to grow impatient and I also. We wanted this to end. We wanted the fear lingering over the world to dissipate. But we felt helpless.

One night, L and I just sat and did nothing but stare at the wall. Our shoulders were tensed. We were stressed. It had been days since I played my music. And I guess that's where my idea came, to brighten the moment.

I took out my old laptop and hooked it up to the speakers in the dark room. I think L didn't suspect a thing when I did this, I mean it wasn't unusual that I would take over his belongings and use them to play my music.

I skipped through playlists until I came to my favorite one. I then began to play a popular song, that even outer detached L knew.

"What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive..." The speakers bubbled out.

I walked to stand in front of L, and grabbed his attention. His blank eyes glued to mine, and I saw his helplessness. In that moment, I realized how lost my friend felt about he case.

"Dance with me?" I asked while I held out my hand.

Instantly, his hand grabbed mine. He stood up and pulled me to the center of the room. He held me close as we began to sway to the slow music.

Believe it or not, L can dance. He spinned and twirled me about. Laughs escaped my mouth as we loosened up. Even L gave a small chuckle at my joy.

The music eventually ended, and I leaned on L feeling breathless. I felt his arms wrap around me in a small awkward embrace and he whispered, "Thank you for cheering me up.

My heart, at that moment, quickened. But I wrote it off due to our dancing.

It felt as if years had passed, but yet again, it was only months. Light and Misa were finally released. They agreed to help in the investigation. We went full force ahead. It seemed like there was never a dull moment.

With the friendly bickering. Matsuda becoming Misa's manager and a whole other list of things

And it seemed like everything was falling into place, when we linked Kira to the Yatsuba group. And it helped that Misa got. Higuichi to admit he was Kira.

That's when L and I began to devise a plan for his capture. L brought in two people who had previously worked with us. Weddy and Aiber. The two criminal masterminds. Yeah, we were playing dirty. But sometimes you need to cheat to win.

Finally the day came to set the plan in to action. It was complete and utter chaos. We were confused how he killed, and it didn't help the pat he mysteriously gained the powers of the second Kira.

Eventually we cornered him on the high way. That's where we discovered "it".

The most evil thing to ever come in to existence. The thing that has brought fear to the world. The very instrument of death it's self... The death note.

L and I had shared a seat in the helicopter. So once he held it, I stole it from his grasp. And when I touched it, I swear, that I saw he'll itself. My eyes bulged out when they saw the creature. The creature known as Rem.

The capture of Higuichi came to an end with his mysterious death. And we were once again stuck with finding Kira.

One night, I sat with L in his room. We talked about what was happening in our lives, and it was no surprise when we came to the topic of Kira and the death note.

"It's fake you know." I mused while I took small sips from my tea.

We sat on a love sit with each other. Sitting face to face. A soft blank covered both of our legs while we talked.

"I realized that." He sighed and looked me right in the eyes. "That's why I want you to go back to England."

Anger boiled in my chest when I asked "Why?"

"Because, I will never be able to forgive myself if you die, Claire. You need to go back to Wammy's, and choose my successor." He dead paned.

I immediately sat up on the couch and got in to his face. "There is no way in hell, that I am leaving you. It's always been you and me against the world Lawliet, and one crazed killer won't and will not change that."

We stared at each other for a few second. Though to me it felt like hours. Emotions I could not recognize, played across his face. He brought a lazy hand up to my cheek to rest it there causing blood to spread to my face.

"You're right... We will finish this together. You. And me."

Then suddenly, L did something I would have never expected... He kissed me. My first kiss. With him! Lawliet. We were both inexperienced, and it only lasted a moment, but in that moment I felt so happy. Warmth spread through out my body from where are lips had meet. It felt like I was on cloud nine.

But sadly our high came to an end. L and I decided, that night, it was time for the case to end. We were going to use the death note, and prove the thirteen day rule a lie.

I sat in the main room making the final arrangements to use the instrument of death.

"Ms. Clear, what are you doing?" Mr. Yagami asked, interrupting my task.

I sighed, in frustration, from being interrupted. I stood to stretch my stiff limbs. My feet led me to where the tea sat, and I poured myself a small cup. "L and I plan to use the death note. I'm getting the go ahead from another country to do it."

That's when all he'll broke lose. I was bombarded with stupid questions. I could literally hear my nerves snapping. Remember when I previously said that I was abrasive, along with other characteristics?

"Will you all shut the hell up?! We're risking our lives to end this, and to show your gratitude you complain? At least respect our lives, and trust us! If we die, we die proving Light and Misa's innocence. Just like you want. So if you have any complaints, talk to L!"

They kept quiet for a while, until L and Light showed up. They were both soaking wet.

"Ryuzaki! What's going on?!" Matsuda exclaimed.

I didn't pay attention to the conversation after that. I only watched as L's back tensed more and more with frustration.

I jumped when L raised his voice. "We are very close! If we figure this out, the entire cas will be solved."

The lights blacked out, and an erie feeling spread through out the air. Shouts of confusion came from the task force.

"Clear!" L called out to me.

I quickly ran to his side and looked in to his dark eyes. I couldn't tell what was going on, but I could tell he was afraid.

"L."

"I need you to go see Watari. We need to reestablish a power connection! With out it, we can't get any news from the other countries." L spoke with desperation.

My heart raced with adrenaline. For what reason, I didn't know. I was so freaked out that I wasn't able to speak properly. Taking deep breaths, I calmed myself down so I could form a sentence.

"I'm right on-"

Pain. My chest palpitated as I felt pain start to spread through out my body from the point in my chest. The cup I held slipped past my fingers and shattered on the cold, hard, unforgiving ground.

In a split second, my eyes met L's, and I knew... I was going to die. His innocent eyes widened with fear, as he took in to account what was happening.

"Claire..." He whispered as my knees gave out. L stood abruptly so he could catch me in his arms. "Claire! Stay with me!"

"Wa-Watari." I mumbled with a slurred voice. At the mention of the elderly's mans name, l snapped his head behind him to look at the giant screen.

"Watari!" He was able to call out before the screens read "all data deletion."

"All data deletion? L what's going on?" I couldn't tell who asked the question, I just knew that someone did.

"This is the... I told Watari, that incase of an emergency, he was to delete all data on the case."

Cries of fear sounded at the news. I think that in that moment, we all knew, this was the end. L continued to stare at me with begging eyes. I knew... I just knew! He felt so alone. And I couldn't do anything about it. I was dying. All I could do was stare, and hope that he survived. But I lost that hope, when a look of pain crossed over his face.

He fell, dragging me with him, towards the ground. My head collided with the ground, and I heard a crack resonate through my ears.

Warmth flowed, and pooled, underneath my hair. I could tell I was obviously bleeding.

"Claire..." L called out, bringing my attention towards him.

My gaze was growing hazy, but I somehow managed to focus my blurred sight on him. With the little strength I had. I forced my hand to rest on his face, and he did the same.

"I... I've...always...loved you...ever since... I first saw you...walk through...the doors...at Wammy's..." He whispered while tears gathered in his eyes.

Earlier I said I didn't understand my feelings until it was far to late. And that was true. While I heard his confession, I realized, all to late. That I was I love with him. And I would never get my happy ending.

A sob left my lips. "Why...why can't things...work out for us...why can't we be together..." I mumbled incoherently.

With my last bit of strength I slowly brought my lips to his. And with the one kiss... I expressed everything. My regret. My frustration. My sadness. Everything! But most importantly... my goodbye.

I let my head rest in the crook of his neck, and sluggishly brought him in to an embrace.

"L... Lawliet... I will always...love...you."

Blackness took over my vision. Forcing me in to nothingness. I heard him call out my name. I wanted to respond, but, my life had already ended...

Today, on November 5, 2004. I died in the arms of the one I loved. In the end we didn't beat Kira. In the end we failed. In the end we never got to live. In the end I never got my happily ever after...

.

.

L, it's been years. Since we first meet. In that time we grew. In that time we became friends. In that time we fell in love.

But as I lay here... I can't help to wonder... What life would have been like...

If we survived.

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Music: you and me by lifehouse and chop suey by system of a down


End file.
